


Baby, you have my Heart

by GayBeau



Series: Harlivy One-Shots [1]
Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Ivy gets turned into a baby, Prompt Fill, canon compliant up to season 2 episode 12, nonbinary Clayface, we'll see how well that holds up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayBeau/pseuds/GayBeau
Summary: Harley just wants to impress Ivy on their first date, but everything is ruined when Ivy is magically turned into a baby.Prompt: Harlivy fanfic, where Ivy turns into a baby and no one in the squad knows how to take care of a baby.
Relationships: Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Harlivy One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800706
Comments: 6
Kudos: 154





	Baby, you have my Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt received privately through tumblr. It's pretty different from what I normally write, but it was a lot of fun. Hope you enjoy!

Harley has been on some awful dates in her time. She’d nearly been eaten by piranhas, exploded by homemade bombs, and had been sent to Arkham countless times. But that was behind her, now that Joker was out of her life. As chaotic as she likes her life, Ivy makes her want to settle down, just a bit. Just enough to have a real date. Is one good date too goddamn much for her to ask for? 

Apparently, it is. Because instead of her beautiful girlfriend sitting with her at the candlelit table, there’s… Well, it  _ might  _ still be Ivy. She had been sitting in that spot moments before. But now, replacing the woman Harley is so in love with, is a little green baby.

She nearly falls off her chair at the sudden change of appearance, before hurtling to the infant who is sitting on the table with a dazed look. 

“Uhhhh, Ivy? Is this some sorta prank?” She looks around, trying to figure out how it was all pulled off. 

Her eyes scan the scene for signs. They’re in a private room that Harley claimed when they first made the mall their home. It’s quiet and dark, with romantic lighting from candles, and a three-course meal prepared for by Takashi. On the surface, it’s nothing much, but after everything that’s happened recently, both women agreed a peaceful night in would be perfect. Though that hadn’t stopped Harley from going the extra mile, kidnapping some CEO of an oil company to maim and kill as a surprise finale to their night. 

Queen of Fables even offered to help set up, agreeing to add some magic to the atmosphere as a sign of truce. A little music floating sweetly through the air, and shimmering touch to the scene, and napkin swans that reform and clean themselves when used. “By the end of the night, she’ll be your baby,” Fables had said.

Yeah, the wording had definitely sounded odd, but she waved it off as some weird older person phrase or Harley mishearing “you’ll be making babies”. That’d make far more sense.

“Fuck,” Harley says, realising she’s been played, before covering her mouth and shooting a guilty look at Ivy. She should know better than to trust Fables, but she’d been wrapped up trying to impress Ivy, show her that Ivy  _ can _ trust Harley with her heart. 

The baby looks around desperately, and seems to try to communicate, but all that comes out is a cry. Harley picks Ivy up with gentle hands, hesitant. It’s been a while since she’s held something so delicate. Her hands slip under the head to support the weight and bring the small body close to hers. 

“Shhh, shhh,” Harley tries, not entirely sure what she’s doing as she rocks the baby gently. “We’re gonna figure this out, ok Ives? Harley’s gotcha.”

Mind reeling, she darts up the stairs to find her crew. She’s going to need some help with this one. 

In the common space, Clayface is doing a dramatic one person reenactment of some interaction between Dr Psycho, the Riddler and themself, to the amusement of no one in the room. Frank is begging King Shark to drag his pot somewhere else, but the humanoid shark is busy being supportive of his friend’s acting. Sy is mumbling angrily about being woken from his nap, stretching the limbs of his strange new robotic body. They all go silent and stare up at Harley as they hear the baby’s cry.

“That was quick,” King Shark says after a moment. “I thought humans took much longer to reproduce than that though.”

“No matter!” Clayface declares, turning from Psycho’s form into their own clay. “Congratulations are in order! Where is Ivy, so we may celebrate this grand moment together!”

“Ha! And Ivy said you two were gonna try take it slow. I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it in her pants,” Frank laughs. “Didn’t expect this, though.”

Harley stops dead in her tracks, groaning. “What? No! This  _ is  _ Ivy. Fables turned her into a baby!”

A fresh silence washes over the group, the only sound coming from a tearful baby Ivy. 

“Uh, what the  _ fuck? _ ” Frank moves their eyes closer to the baby, inspecting her. “Is this some sort of fucking joke?”

Pressing Ivy close to her chest, Harley frees a hand and swats at Frank’s eyestalk. “Hey, no swearing in front of the kid!” Harley shouts, “Don’t you have any fucking manners?”

Frank looks about to question the logic in that debate, when King Shark speaks up. “How do you know that’s Ivy? I mean, could it be some sort of fake that was swapped out?”

Harley stops for a moment, looking down at the baby in her arms. She has green skin and thin red hair sprouting from her head, so it certainly looks like Ivy. But maybe it’s not real, and Ivy is out there somewhere, fully grown. It could be a fake.

“It doesn’t matter if this is a fake or she really is a baby, we need to look after this baby as if she is Ivy until we can get her back. Now, I’m gonna go find Fables and show her a piece of my mind. Is anyone here any good with looking after kids?”

“Human pups need looking after?” King Shark asks. “Are we talking mentoring? I could encourage her while she learns to hunt?” 

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Harley looks to Sy. 

“Sure thing, I think I’ve got a pacifier in here somewhere,” He replies, summoning a small chainsaw from somewhere in his mechanical body. “Whoop, wrong one,” he says as he replaces it with a welding torch. “Bear with me, I know it’s here somewhere,” a gun, a hammer, a chainsaw and taser all appear before he finds the pacifier.

Ivy cries, and Harley’s grip on the infant tightens just a bit, her body turning to protect Ivy from the tools. “Yeah, thanks for the offer, but I’m gonna say no.”

Sy shrugs. “Your loss.”

Harley looks to Frank next. “Hey, I can provide some  _ fantastic _ emotional support,” he says, “but I can’t even hold a baby bottle, so don’t look at me.”

Clayface raises their hand next, “I-”

“No,” Harley cuts them off before they can even start.

“Why not?” They raise their hand to their heart in a show of hurt.

“We don’t know how long Ives’ gonna be stuck like this. If it’s permanent, I am  _ not  _ risking her becoming a thespian.” She sighs, taking a seat on the couch with a slump, keeping baby Ivy close. Looks like she’s the only one who can be even vaguely trusted with a kid. “Fuck, ok, new plan. I’ll stay here with Ivy. King Shark, Clayface, I need you two to go find some supplies. I’ll write you a list. Sy, Frank, find out where Fables is and get ready to fuck her up. Meet back here in an hour.”

***

By the time it takes the crew to clarify instructions, return from the store, and return from the store  _ again  _ (Really, how hard is it to figure out what a diaper is? Look for the word “diaper”, idiots!) it’s been a couple hours. Harley realises she might be in for a long night, as it nears a fresh day and her crew has only just left to hunt down and fight Fables.

She’s been keeping baby Ivy company, taking care of her with the aid of her very limited knowledge of infants. She hands Ivy a small toy truck she found whilst scouring the mall for child-safe entertainment, only for Ivy to throw it to the ground, looking at Harley with disapproving eyes. 

“What, is it ‘cause it’s a petrol model? I can find you one that’s electric?” But Ivy continues her stare. “Aw, y’know you’re kinda cute when you glare like that, with your chubby whittle cheeks and confused whittle eyes.”

Harley takes inventory of the items her crew had gathered for her. A bottle, some powder milk, a pacifier and some diapers. Cringing, she picks up the package of nappies. 

“Ok, Ives, I’m really, really sorry about this. I know you’re gonna hate it. Hopefully we get you fixed before you have to… you know… use these. But, you know, better safe than sorry?” 

Ivy struggles in her arms a bit, starting to cry. It breaks Harley’s heart. This must be terrifying for her, trapped in a tiny body with no real means of communication. All she can do is cry, stare, and hold small, light objects. She pauses what she’s doing to place a finger in Ivy’s palm, which the baby holds with all its little strength. 

She thinks back to what she learned in developmental psychology. One thing stuck out in her head, and she latches onto it. Communicating with babies, talking to them, helps them develop intellectually. 

“We’re going to work our asses off trying to get you back, ok Ives? I swear. But if you end up stuck like this… I know you had a shitty childhood. I promise, if I can’t get you back, I will do everything in my power to give you the life you deserved from the start,” She starts to tear, just thinking about it. It does, however, seem to calm the baby.

“Seriously, I’ll spoil the shit out of you. You’ll get the best education, somewhere that specialises in environmental studies and botany. And I’ll beat the shit out of any snotty kid that tries to bully you,” She starts to do up the diaper as she speaks, hoping that Ivy will just focus on her voice as she does this humiliating, but necessary step. “You’ll have a family that supports you, and all the freedom in the world… Well, ok, not all of it. I’m already feeling that weird motherly overprotectiveness… Oh no, that’s so weird…” 

She finishes with the diaper, and brings her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes. This is all just so much. “I’m sorry, Ivy. This is all my fault. I was stupid, and let my guard down to someone dangerous, all because I wanted to impress you a bit. Not even a lot! And you got hurt because of it? Fuck, maybe you were wrong. Maybe you shouldn’t trust me with your heart, or your life.”

Tears begin to flow, and she just knows her makeup is ruined. She lets her head fall to the table she had set Ivy on, coving her face. She’s ruined it. It’s all fucked now. She’s gone and ruined everything.

A small hand pats her on the head. She looks up to find Ivy stretching her hand out, making grabby motions. It’s adorable, and she can’t help but laugh bittersweetly. There’s this look in Ivy’s eyes that no baby could be capable of making. It’s not staring at her in wonder, trying to learn, she’s talking to her. 

“Ok Ives, flail once if you’re hungry, twice if you wanna go snuggle on the couch, or three times if you want something else.”

There’s a distinct huffing sound before Ivy flaps her arms twice. Harley grins as she scoops the baby up gently, and they make their way to the couch, where Harley lies down and sets Ivy on her chest. 

It doesn’t take long before Ivy’s eyes start to fall heavy, and Harley’s heart soars as the baby falls into a slumber. They may be in an awful situation, but she really does love Ivy, in whatever form she takes. If she has to, she’ll turn her romantic feelings into paternal ones, and raise her with the same amount of heart she’d give her otherwise. She leans down and presses a gentle kiss to the girl’s head. “Good night, Ives.”

***

She wakes in the late morning to a sudden weight on her. Opening her eyes, she finds a fully grown Ivy laying atop her, also coming to.

“Ives!” She shouts, immediately wrapping her arms around the woman and squeezing with all the force she’s been restraining while handling a fragile form. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re back! I’m so sorry!”

Ivy makes a choking sound, and Harley releases her. She then takes a moment to pat herself down, making sure it’s real, and promptly throws the diaper, which tore as she reverted size, as far as possible across the room with a groan. 

But she doesn’t seem to mind her naked form, nor the proximity to Harley. Once she’s satisfied that she’s back to normal, she wraps her arms around Harley and hugs just as tight. 

“You’re not mad?” Harley asks, shocked.

“Oh no, I am mad. That was  _ not  _ fun and you  _ know  _ you can’t trust Fables,” She says, pulling back to look Harley in the eye. “But, fuck, Harls. That’s a side of you I’ve never seen before. You were… I love you, Harley. And I do trust you with my heart. After that, how can I not? You were there for me, even when I wasn’t me.”

Harley laughs, uncertain. “Really? I mean, I dunno, I think I’d be a terrible mum.”

“You’d be an  _ amazing  _ mum,” Ivy says, sitting up and pulling Harley with her. “Y’know, I never thought I’d want to have kids, but…” She blushes. “Look, I know this is lame, we haven’t been together long. But in the future, like, way into the future, I think I could do that… With you.”

Her heart feels like it could burst. She leans forward and captures Ivy’s lips in a kiss. It’s not one like they’ve ever had before. It’s slow, and soft, and made of pure love. No adrenaline, no alcohol. Just love. 

And that’s when the crew decides to burst through the door. They’re all covered in dirt and dried blood, and cursing. Harley dives in front of Ivy, shielding her body as the other woman searches for something to cover herself with. Everyone covers their eyes out of respect. 

“Ah, Ivy, I see… I see you’re back to normal. Our deal was successful then,” Clayface announces. 

“Thank fuck, you know what a mission that was? We had to fight all seven dwarves just to talk to her!” Frank cries out. 

“Thanks for doing that for me, guys,” Ivy says as she wraps a towel around herself. “And please, let’s never mention this again.”

“Happily,” Sy says. “But first, we should probably let you know the deal we had to make.” When the two women give him a quizzical look, he continues, “we had to promise her your firstborn kid.”

Harley and Ivy share a look, and shrug. “We can adopt,” they say together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Like I said earlier, this is pretty different from what I'm used to writing, and the voices of this series are still new to me. Drop a comment and let me know how I did. 
> 
> If you'd like to request a fic, flick me a message on tumblr. Here's the post I made recently about requests: https://gaybeau.tumblr.com/post/621163822346027008/i-want-to-write-more-send-me-a-ship-and-a-prompt


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